Thanksgiving week there is always a lot of focus on gratitude and giving thanks. And I’m all about gratitude, but I think that sometimes we forget to talk about the flip side:
Receiving gratitude.
There are so many ways to add more gratitude to your life (find out more here>>), but the truth is that for many of us it is much easier to say “thank you” than it is to receive a compliment or a heartfelt thank you from someone else.
We learned our manners well: “please” and “thank you” and how to write a proper thank you card. Maybe we could appreciate others more, but we at least know how to show gratitude (even if we don’t do it enough).
Many of us don’t learn how to receive gratitude, though. In the name of modesty and those admonitions about not bragging too much, many of us have become too humble. A “thanks” often elicits the response, “oh it was nothing- no big deal.” Sounds familiar? How about when we as women are complimented on our clothes? What’s that classic line? Oh yeah: “what–this old thing?”
We push gratitude away. We deflect it. We try not to let it “go to our heads.” But in reality the act of receiving is just as important as the act of giving. What good is it to give thanks if no one is going to receive it?
Imagine what birthdays would be like if we gave gifts and the birthday-girl just said, “oh gosh, I can’t” and handed it back? We might feel a little deflated–because chances are we were excited to give that gift.
And the same is true of gratitude. We are often excited to share our gratitude, to show our thanks, but it takes some of the fun out of it if our compliment is just handed right back to us.
So next time someone says thank you, or compliments you, or expresses any kind of gratitude, don’t brush it off. Simply say “that’s very kind of you” or “I appreciate that.”
Receive it. Take it in and absorb it. Let yourself bask in it for a while.
I promise it’s not going to make you look like you are full of yourself. It will make the giver feel good about sharing their gratitude.
That’s the act of receiving.
It’s the gift you give back.
