Your Mother’s Day Survival Guide When TTC
Here’s my Mother’s Day survival guide for managing the barrage of emails, marketing, and happy family photos when you’re TTC.
Mother’s Day is coming up this weekend, and if you’ve been trying to conceive for a while, I know it can be a challenging day.
Let’s be honest: when you’re desperately wishing you were celebrating this year, seeing all your smiling friends with their 2 or 3 kids eating brunch and holding bouquets of flowers doesn’t always bring out your best self.
But it’s totally normal and even okay to feel jealous, frustrated, and that life’s not fair. You’re not alone in these feelings.
Whether it’s a reminder that you still aren’t pregnant; or like one of my clients, you secretly celebrated Mother’s Day last year only to miscarry a few days later, it can be a really triggering day for many women.
Whatever Mother’s Day brings up for you, know that you’re not alone. One in 7 couples are dealing with these feelings and emotions, too.
If Mother’s Day is hard for you, that’s okay! Give yourself permission to feel however you feel about it this year. And take time to support yourself.
Here are my top 4 tips to survive Mother’s Day this year:
1. Turn off social media.
I know this one’s hard. But if seeing pictures of all your friends’ kids is triggering for you, just turn it off for the day.
Stay off social media on Mother’s Day–maybe even delete the apps from your phone temporarily (or permanently!) if you know you’ll be tempted.
And honestly, not being exposed to all the images, hype, and commentary will go a long way toward making the day more bearable.
2. Double down on your routines.
Take time this week to really nurture yourself–stick with good routines you have in the morning or evening, and make time for those activities that help you feel grounded and emotionally stable.
Maybe that’s your morning meditation, your yoga practice, or you evening soak in the tub. Maybe it’s reading (for fun!), going for walks, or cooking.
Whatever activities or routines you have in your life that make you feel balanced and bring stability to your life—double down on those this week.
After all, that’s why we have routines and self-care–so that when we feel unstable, emotional, or the world turns upside down, we can fall back on the familiarity of these routines and activities to help ground us.
3. Spend the day with those who lift you up
Choose how to spend your day–and with whom. If seeing a bunch of moms out with their babies is triggering, avoid the brunch scene.
If you’re celebrating your mom, offer to have her over to your place for brunch instead. Or spend time with your partner, schedule a girls date with your other child-free friends, or go for a hike or work in your garden.
Find something you enjoy doing and do it with those who make you feel good–whether that’s your mom or your friends, be sure they’re the ones who really lift you up.
4. Feel how you feel
Sometimes we judge ourselves for feeling jealous or angry, when it’s actually just part of being human. We all feel that way sometimes, and if you’re trying to get pregnant, this might be one of those times.
Grant yourself grace to experience whatever emotions come up. Cry, journal, or do whatever helps you release and process your feelings. Don’t bottle them up, but find a healthy outlet. Give yourself permission. You don’t have to put on a happy face if you don’t feel happy. Feel whatever you feel.
But the most important thing is to listen to yourself and do what you need.
There’s no right way to get through the day–just be gentle with yourself and give yourself permission to sit with whatever feelings come up for you.
And ultimately, know that even if your path to motherhood isn’t what you planned, there are many routes to get there—and I have hope that someday you’ll be the mother everyone is celebrating.
If you need support navigating your fertility journey, I’d love to support you. Book a coaching session here.
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